The night before the shoot, right before I went to bed, I started getting a little nervous. It was 5:00 in the a.m., and I was a bit tired. “Cherry,” I told myself, “you just need some sleep to restore your mind to its natural state.” I took my own advice, and upon awakening, felt much better; I was actually excited for the show.
You see, I’m usually the dominant one; I am a professional domina. I did have one lover three years ago whom I switched with, but that was about the extent of my excursions into submission. And he was nowhere near as severe or experienced as pd. So the prospect of being on the receiving end of the pain to such a qualified top made me shiver with anticipation.
10:00 pm came rather quickly. Standing there in front of the cameras, knowing that you were all watching, anticipating the show as much as I was made me extremely excited. I am an exhibitionist by nature, so the thought of so many eyes on me was very pleasing.
As I was made to stand on one leg, arms tied behind my back, I felt my body begin to weaken. My mind soon followed suit. I began to tremble. I wondered if my leg would buckle under the strain? It was such a relief when I was allowed to switch to the other leg. (Thanks!)
When I saw the ball gag coming, I was not a happy camper; I don’t exactly like my jaw feels when wearing one. But that was nothing – the real challenge came with the addition of the 10 LB weight. I had to suffer through it or rip out my nipple rings. And then came the first of many tears. I started to feel very surrendered. I was heading into the sub zone. Holding the weight with my mouth was the worst part for me since it was constant strain, not staggered like the forthcoming electric play or caning.
Electricity is something that I had never experienced, but have often masturbated to. I shared this secret with Pd immediately wondering if I had made a mistake. Thanks to Ghost’s lovely suggestion, I got to straddle a copper pole, trying like hell not to touch it. As it grazed my inner thighs I thought, “This isn’t so bad.” But when it hit my inner labia I shrieked – it was a very intense pain. But the endorphins it released in me made the temporary pain worth it. I was also happy to be fulfilling one of my fantasies.
I’ve also thought about sewing my mouth shut. As a photographer, I thought it would make a cool visual, sort of a “speak no evil’ kind of motif. So we decided go with it. What I didn’t know was that there was to be an electric current attached to it. It wasn’t so bad in the mouth except when it hit my teeth – that felt really strange.
Next was what I call the “little dick” contraption. I felt very vulnerable shackled in like that with my engorged clit exposed for play. When I saw the vibrator in PD’s hand I was stoked. I knew I was gong to orgasm quickly. Not only was I way turned on, but my entire clit (which by most standards is pretty large) was available for manipulation. But I made a little mistake. I forgot to ask permission to come. I couldn’t believe it, as I make people beg for release all the time! Guess I’m not used to being on the begging end.
When he was finally done with me, I not only felt relieved, but very accomplished. I was done. I had gotten through it. No matter what I felt on Saturday night, I knew I had to deal with it, because I wanted to take it. I wanted to prove myself, to please you all, to make pd happy, and also make myself happy. Physical pain is temporal, fleeting. I learned this by getting so many tattoos. If something that you really want hurts you, your mind forces you to suffer through it. And you are stronger for having gotten through it.
All of your support during the show helped as well. Knowing that you were all enjoying my suffering, that you all thought it was beautiful, helped to carry me through it. Afterwards in the chat hearing from you all what a great job I did, offering me words of encouragement and support, made me feel like a million bucks. I was ecstatic.
1.27 GB | 3840 x 2160 | mp4 | 00:36:00